Yeah! She read the news for Doordarshan. Vir entered the international stage with his acclaimed Netflix special Abroad Understanding and followed those up with two more specials, Losing It and most recently Vir Das: For India. And for the world to progress, you need to go. You know how, Christians, you get Sunday? I don’t know, that’s just my opinion. I’m in therapy because I lost 80% of my mind. You, Leonardo? In the middle of the forest they saw a beautiful golden deer. Eventually, all I did was really learn a lesson. If a man got up on a stage and told people that in the last two years, he had lost his fame, his fortune, his patriotism, his nationality, his religion, his credibility, his masculinity and his mind, is he even a man? They shoot that shit in real time. “I have balls. “Huh, we used to wait 15 years for one piece of beef.” And then I thought I should stop eating this because this is a shit steak. If you meet somebody in there, you just assume they’re a ghost. In the middle of the night, Sita got abducted by a demon named Ravan. ‘Cause if you write a blog after this shit, I will go to jail. My visa expired. They said, “Oh, my God, you’re Indian? Well done, racists. It’s gonna be on Netflix. Look, if we chill out and talk about religion, what is a religion? This is our Mother. It’s not a Punjabi sound I’m familiar with. Because, honestly, there is nothing that you can get in America that I can’t get in India. Build that wall. Big, big balls. Did you know that shit? And then I watch as his life falls apart in front of me. Are you on board? In 100 years, India’s just gonna be, like, three leftover Hindus and 27 million cows. Did you see Black Panther? That’s a fact. Come here. The floors were Italian marble. You accept that shit, but… But when you’re new poor, you have a fresh reminder of what you’re missing. Now, if you apply that percentage to the total Sikh population of the world, that leaves three. For a woman, the world is Amazon.in. But… But Indians were very rich in Africa. They’re like, “Mrs. I believe that God exists in children, nature, animals. No matter what we say, we don’t understand any of it. A leader, a brand gives us three, four words of evil. What’s going on?” Muslims, I think the first time Muhammad walked into a mosque, he was like… I don’t know what Muhammad looks like, do you? You get to ask for it. So, how do we get women the freedom to wear whatever women want to wear? Why do I squeeze his hand so hard? What is that shit, bro? And men are defined by their unrealistic dreams. My Understanding of Vir Das' "Abroad Understanding" "Tonight, maybe for the first time, the Indian accent can be a perspective, not a punchline." Absolutely. Yes, he stayed awake. Kind of scary. Who here has read The Ramayan? He knew it would make his family excited about that car. D-dshhhh. We are instantly hypnotized, mesmerized, on board. Just say good shit to other people and you’ll feel amazing. I thought about how this might be a story my grandfather Baba would tell. She said, “Are you all set?” “Yeah. I’ve had maybe 300, 400 steaks in my life. How big is it? Then I got thirsty, went into the house, had some pani, came out, beat him some more.” Which is not the appropriate answer to my question or, when you think about it, is the appropriate answer to every question because at that moment, you’re not thinking about your breakup. And… Fuck, man. Like, Hinduism has some amazing stories. Cash on delivery, whatever you like. He struggled.” I did not struggle. There are two Sardar doctors with surgical masks looking down at me, of which one is Dr. Santokh. Look, Americans… Mastizaade was a really big budget sex comedy film… starring me. Her under-boob must be so sore with the wire all tight jammed in there.” Most guys aren’t laughing ’cause you don’t know there’s a wire in the under-boob. Every time we try to draw the guy, somebody gets shot. That was her thigh-high boots year. If you can tell beautiful, truly beautiful lies, guys, the entire universe will conspire to make those lies a reality.

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