Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? Q: What did one candle say to the other? But no. Forget about the past, you can't change it. Later, in the evening the two meet for dinner and the son is wearing one of the ties. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? Mice cream and cake. All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! I hope you shellibrate! Pieces of popcorn always have the best birthdays. That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards. As a matter of fact, he said I have the breasts of a 20 year old. But after 9 long months, I was finally born! A: A birthday pheasant. Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? His employees replied, "No." What may I do for you?". How does the cat celebrate its birthday? So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale. What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? Because they're always popping! Matt Damon asked his friends what they were planning for his birthday. and it said that I needed an upgrade. Today is your birthday, so congratulate yourself—especially if you're still young enough to remember it! "Of course child. Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. It's time to "banish" this common household item. © 2020 Galvanized Media. The barman said no and the man pouted. It was never fired and the barrel was dented, "Happy nine months after *my* happy birthday", Elon's just gonna release the patch notes, BB's wife decided to get "BB" tattooed on her butt in such a way that a "B" is on each buttcheek. A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom! Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? 'Oh, I don't know ,' she said . Live smarter, look better,​ and live your life to the absolute fullest. I'm not sure how. I told my computer that today is my birthday, I used to be a boy trapped in a woman's body. If you're searching for the right thing to say on your friend or family member's birthday or lighten the mood on your own, look no further than the following birthday jokes and puns. A: He has a whale of a party! Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? I wanted a squirter. The doctor told us it doesn't work like that anymore. A: Stone Age! A: "What's eating you?" They just wanna get lit! Been marching for half an hour now, and she still hasn’t told me. Enter your email address to get the best tips and advice. What did you get your wife for her birthday?". I poured root beer in a square glass. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. ...were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when they were arrested by Saudi police. © When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. Growing up is inevitable, but "growing up" is optional. Thank you for helping me with my homework. Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? You know you're getting old when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. Why don't birthday candles ever exercise? Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Perfect for writing in a card, or sending to your friends on Instagram, these silly birthday jokes will get you laughing—no matter what your age.

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